A Christmas Post

Merry Christmas to one and all! Aaron and I have had a great few days in NYC, despite the frigid (ok, just plain cold, but I'm a winter-wuss) temperatures. We've hit some of the highlights of the city, but mostly had fun just hanging out together and with my family (and my sister's in-laws). Here are some pictures of the trip's highlights:

Checking out the scene at Central Park's Wollman Rink.


Thankfully only looking at, not partaking in, the ice-skating fun. I break things. It's simply a fact of life. Moral of the story: I no longer ice skate.

The best Christmas gift... or at least the cutest!

Aaron and I visited the famous Papaya King. Delicious hot dogs, and some interesting Papaya juice.

Lexington, the star of the show. He had a little run in with Zach's dog "Keiser Wilhelm."

Finally, one of many rounds of Scrabble Flash, which Mr. Cantrell got from my mom for Christmas. This game is crazy addictive, but I am TERRIBLE at it. Not terrible? My sister, Zach, Adam, Aaron, Mr. Cantrell, pretty much anyone else...

Aaron is supposed to leave tomorrow, but looks like we may be stuck here due to the blizzard hitting the town tomorrow morning. Wish I had snow boots! I'm heading to DC/VA on Monday (if the weather permits travel) to go to my good friend Chipley's wedding reception. We'll post some more pics if we get some snow.

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night.

Today

Has been rough. This is a bit of what I feel like. If you can name this book, you win... well, my respect?

Six Months and Counting

Today marks the six month anniversary since Aaron and I have been married. I note it only because we have discussed celebrating our anniversary on this day in the future, since our "real" anniversary is surrounded by some very sad memories. Regardless, I can't believe it has been so long. In some ways, it feels like forever. And sometimes, it feels as if only moments have passed.

I would write a post about the highlights and lowlights (like there have been any of those... ;) of these six months, but I'm smack dab in the middle of finals and have been dilly-dallying enough already.

Two days from now marks another six month anniversary. I have spent quite a bit of time mourning this upcoming moment already (meaning that hopefully it is out of my system). It is simply too long to be without someone we love so, so very much. Please keep my whole family in your prayers for this day in particular, and the holiday season in general. Furthermore, I have a final that morning and another one the next day.

I would like to leave you with a picture of The Coopers from our special day. Love to all, and to all a good night.

I miss my Dad

Some days, some moments, this is all I feel.

It hurts the most when you forget; enjoy the beauty of the day or the excitement of the moment and want to tell one of your favorite people and closest friends. And forget that he is no longer here.

Or to think about the upcoming Holidays and despair the thought of living them without him.

Sometimes, I just miss him on beautiful days when I want to talk about the weather.

But tonight, there is simply no reason. I'm just aching to see my Dad, to speak to him again. I miss him so much.

Starbucks

I can easily get distracted at Starbucks watching the interactions of others, immensely more interesting than editing my law review paper. It's really not my fault that interesting people seem to follow me everywhere I go, right? I must describe what I mean by "interesting" before I proceed. I do not necessarily mean someone who is brilliantly informed, has an amazing life-story, and is immensely captivating. I simply mean that some people are interesting in their most mundane interactions, and I am distracted by the observances.

Today there is a young woman with red hair sitting across from me with her macbook in her lap, and a scowl on her face. She is married, I believe has kids at home, and comes from a fairly wealthy background. To her right, and my left, is a man with striking similarities, the same red hair, but less of a scowl. He is clearly her dad. Just now she was on the phone talking to someone oh-so-important and her Dad tried to pass her a newspaper article to look at. When she finally got off the phone, she barked "What is so important." He asked her to take a look at the article, which I've just noticed is about the new "oldest person in the world." She shoves it back at him, completely uninterested. He reads a line from the article about her having integrity, etc, and said "That is the key."

I really do not know this family, and it is obviously none of my business, but if I got to have another opportunity to have a teaching moment from my Dad, I hope I would never shrug it off so callously. Life is precious, interactions are rare, Daddies do not stay forever.

I wish I could tell these lessons to the man on the street, or the woman who is too busy to listen, or to my three year old friends. But why would they listen? Who thinks it will happen to them? And mostly, I'm scared of the reactions. So I am telling them to you. You should tell them to others. You should never take life, love, family for granted. You should listen to your Dad; he is immensely more interesting than you, I guarantee it.

Dreams

I've had some fairly disconcerting dreams over these past few months. They have been occurring less and less, but I had a vivid one this morning again. It's usually of my Dad just days before he is going to die. But in none of them does he die. It's just those few days beforehand. In my dreams we all know he is supposed to go some particular day, so they are generally focused on saying Goodbye and loving on him. But they are always heart-wrenching.

Sometimes I cherish having even these types of dreams, simply because it is sort of an interaction that we don't get to have anymore. But they can be so heartbreaking as well. I was sobbing in my dream from this morning, feeling sad to the depths of my soul even in my sub-conscious.

I have prayed for good dreams about my Dad over these past few months, essentially hoping for the Lord to let me have a real current interaction with my Dad in the dreams. I'm not sure if that's how it works, but if I've had those types of dreams, I must forget them by the morning.

The nice part of my dream last night? My Daddy looked good. He was hugging and kissing my mom, and then he gave me and my siblings a kiss as well.

Happy Halloween!

My mom just sent me a picture of my Dad scaring all the neighborhood kids on Halloween last year. I think we call his costume "Crazy Arkansas Hospital Patient Guy." How cute was he?! He always had a great sense of humor and a willing spirit.



-- Post From My iPhone

Spider Warfare

Yesterday, while preparing our guest bedroom for my Mom's visit, I was quite surprised to find several HUGE spiders and other disgusting creepy crawlies blatantly masquerading as my home guests. After screaming once (or twice, or for hours), I flushed a spider, collected a couple of the mini bug things for my mom's observation (so that I can more effectively destroy them in short-order) and closed off the bedroom from the rest of the house, running scared to my bedroom where I hid out until I could leave a few hours later. I realize this may not be the most effective mechanism of cleaning up for a guest, however, I thought I'd first try this "will them to disappear" method.

When I realized that didn't work this morning, I put on my brave face (i.e. a face mask and clothing that covered every inch of my body) and busted out the vacuum cleaner. I vacuumed the room, the window, and even the bed. That's right, I vacuumed the bed. Not being satisfied with the potential efficacy of this method, I decided to bring out the big guns; the Ortho Max spray gun to be precise. I sprayed the crap out of every inch of my home (ok, not every inch, but enough that I probably should leave the house and let it ventilate for a while). I am taking immense satisfaction in knowing that bugs could be dying at this very moment. Perverse? Perhaps. But joyful nonetheless.

If you have a problem with my spider warfare, please let me know. I'd be happy to bottle them all up and send them to your home. Ok, we all know that's a bluff. There's no way I'm getting near enough to them to put them in a bottle.

Have a happy day and don't let the bed bugs bite!

Pillows

Pillows are a beautiful thing. These pillows, however, are of the extremely humble variety. But they are the pillows on which my Dad slept, and from where he left us.

The first time I came back home after my Dad died, I was terrified. Scared I'd be racked with emotion and plagued with the nightmares of those days. Fearful of my real feelings. But I was not. Maybe it was the length of time that had passed. Maybe it was the severity of the homesickness I felt. Maybe I was just a little better; a little bit healed. Whatever it was, it was comforting to be home. It was the first time I felt close to him again since he left. Especially when I found those pillows. They smelled just like him. Just like I always remembered. Beautiful, warm, and comforting. I tried to hide from my husband and my mom that I was sneaking sniffs of the pillows in the back bedroom. Honestly, I was a tad worried they'd think I was crazy. But seeing as how I'm a very open book, I told them anyway.

Nearly a month later, I'm back again. With the circumstances that brought me home, I had so far been too busy to reminisce. But finally tonight, everything had settled down, with my mom to bed in a more accessible bedroom, I found my way back to those pillows. Just to hug them, think of my Dad, miss him, and let the feelings flow for a little bit. I laid there just like we had some during those last days. Hugging the pillow instead of my Dad. But feeling a bit comforted nonetheless.

I've slowly learned that I can not indulge in these types of feelings too often. It's too hard to live life moving forward, remembering too often the past. But there are some moments when you just need to remember. It's nice to be home.

I wonder...

I wonder...

... Whether there will ever be a day without random medical equipment in our home.

... Whether it will ever feel normal to come home without having my Daddy here to greet me.

... How on earth my mom will get around for the next six weeks.

... Whether dogs can really have learning disabilities like Austin thinks Bear does.

... When the dull pain of loss will finally subside from my chest.

... If I will ever be ready to finally have my bridal portraits made.

... Whether Aaron realizes that this is around our 2 year dating anniversary.

... If everyone I love is safe and sound tonight.

I guess the unknown is a part of both the terror and beauty of life. C'est la vie.

Going Granola

So I'm having a bit of a rough day, and I decided to de-stress by making home-made granola from my Flat Belly Diet (a kind of mediterranean diet promoting eating a serving of monounsaturated fatty acids with each of 4 meals a day) cookbook. And then, I decided to share it with you Pioneer Woman style (but my pictures and food are far inferior).

The Recipe:

2 cups oatmeal

1 1/4 cups walnuts, chopped

1/2 cup unprocessed bran

1/3 cup ground flaxseed

1/3 cup apple juice

1/2 cup maple syrup

1 teaspoon minced crystallized ginger

1 cup dried apples, chopped

1/3 cup dried sweetened cranberries

The Stats (one serving = 3/4 cup):

294 calories

7g protein

8 g fiber

112 mg sodium

0 mg cholesterol

1 g saturated fat

12 g fat

Step 1: Chop up walnuts (notice my home-made backstop).

Step 2: Add oats

Step 3: Add Bran

Step 4: Add Ground Flaxseed (note: apparently once flaxseed is ground it must be refrigerated, so be sure to look in the frozen section of your health food store. Alternative? Grind it yourself. That's for another day.)

Step 5: Mince some crystallized ginger (after eating my granola, the only thing I would change is really, really mincing this, or buying it minced, or including less).

Step 6: Simmer apple juice, maple syrup, and minced ginger.

Step 7: Pour the liquids onto the oat mix and stir (Note: don't take picture at the same time and burn yourself).

Step 8: Spread onto greased cookie sheet, cooking at 300 degrees for 25-35 minutes, stirring twice (Note: try not to sneak any yet).

Step 9: Meanwhile, chop up some dried apples and mix with dried, sweetened cranberries.

Step 10: Mix baked oats together with dried fruits.

Step 11: 3/4 cup of the granola is one serving. Store the rest in an air-tight container for up to 3 weeks.

Step 12: Voila! Post pictures on your blog and eat your heart out. I made a fruit parfait, alternating layers of greek yogurt, banana slices, and granola (I didn't have the fresh raspberries another recipe suggested, but bet that would be delish). The following concoction served as one of my four daily meals, coming in around 400 calories total.

Thank you all for your time and patience! And enjoy. It's seriously good.

All together now... "Oooooh."









-- Post From My iPhone

Location:Fall decor!

Beautiful girls.

I just had to share this picture of my beautiful friend Kate and her beautiful daughter Reese. Baby Reese finally got to go home from the ICU yesterday, and I know Kate and Wes are so happy to begin their new normal as a family of three. I am so lucky to know this girl, and can't wait to get to know Reese too.

Day 2: No Caffeine

No I am not intentionally giving up caffeine, but that has been the result of a new diet I'm trying out. Healthy foods + milk + water. Thats it. Ugg, how boring. But seriously, it's only been like 36 hours and I swear, I might tackle the next person I see with a Diet Coke. It is definitely not making my 8:00am Corporate Law class any easier.

All that to say, cut me some slack over the next few days. I will hurt you if I see you with Sonic. :)

Praying for Kate & Reese

My sweet friend Kate had her baby, Reese Robinson Walker, yesterday! I am so happy she is here. But please keep her in your prayers because she has a bit of an infection. And please pray for Kate as well, as this must be very hard for her.

Thanks!

Sweet feelings.

I realized I just blogged yesterday, but I just wanted to share. I'm sitting in the law school library working on a hideously tedious citecheck for law review, but I'm listening to a great Pandora station, and can see a beautiful day out the window. And I just realized how sweetly happy I felt at the moment. It makes me want to cry. I know, I know, it's backwards. But, I just have such a good feeling in my heart right now, and it has been such a long time. Praise you Lord.

I wish you all a beautiful day as well.

5 Weeks? Whoops.

I just saw my blog on Michelle's blog list and noticed I had not posted anything in 5 weeks! Whoops! Mostly I don't write because when I have felt like writing is usually when I'm in a debbie downer mood, and don't want to bum people out. But things have been getting much better... if ever so slowly.

I'm in my third week of school already. It was a Very slow start to the school year. It has taken me a while to get my mind working again (or at least at the speed necessary for school). But this week has felt a bit more normal finally. I'm working on a law review article and citecheck, so starting to get busy.

Aaron and I spent the weekend in Conway with Mom and we had a great time. The highlight? 1 lb of crab legs at the Flying Fish... my fave. Oh that and watching the Arkansas Razorbacks. And seeing my momma. Ok, really everything was nice.

Tonight, Aaron and I are heading back to Choctoberfest! Remember, from last year?? I can't wait! Schnitzle, here I come!

Just wanted to get back on the blog rolls. I'll try harder I promise.

Coming up next week... the Oklahoma State Fair!! Glad to have things to look forward to.

Nice Weekend

Despite the 103-105 degree temperature around here, we have had a nice, relaxing weekend. Aaron did some yard work, I got lots of sleep, and we went and saw Dinner for Schmucks. We also had dinner with some fun friends in Norman last night.

My mom was here for a few days last week. She cooked us the most delicious meal ever: steak and potatoes (Aaron helped). Moms are great, especially mine.

Let's see... what else. Oh yeah, last week was primary election week. So I went to the watch party with Aaron and enjoyed getting to be a part of the politics and celebration without working myself!

Now, apparently the cool thing to be excited about is Shark Week. We'll see what all the hype is about... but one thing I know for sure, I do not like the Discovery Channel commercials with all the spiders on the new HD Tv. Yuck.

One Month Anniversary

Aaron and I have been married one month today. And what a month it has been. But here's another nice picture of our wedding from our photographer Kristen Mallory of Stella Shot Me to celebrate:

My Beautiful Family

I just wanted to share a few of these wonderful pictures from my wedding.

Pictures by Kristen Mallory of Stella Shot Me.

Today

Today, the world lost an amazing man. But today, heaven gained an even better one. We love you Daddy.

This is one of those times. I'm listening to my brother be a man old before his time. And my mom be superwoman. And hearts breaking.


-- Post From My iPhone

Location:Sometimes it never makes sense.

Brody's Getting Married!

My little brother, Austin, is getting married today! Just a couple fun pictures of his life!

That little boy in the middle is me. Awesome haircut.

Congratulations Austin and Kat!! We love ya'll!

More Tornados and Hail!

I just want you all to know that if you can't get a hold of me tonight, it's probably because I'll be cowering in the laundry room. Why-oh-why did I not buy a bike helmet last week?! Apparently that's how you protect your head during storms in Oklahoma.

Just a quick note. I did in fact survive my finals and had a wonderful weekend with my best friends in town for wedding shower festivities. I start an internship in OKC in the morning.

I just wanted to ask for everyone's prayers for my Dad's health and pain level. He has really been hurting lately. Please pray that his pain will be diminished and his spirits lifted.

Also, my baby brother is getting married this weekend!


-- Post From My iPhone

Location:Georgia on my Mind

Will I make it?

My very last final of my 1L year (first year in law school) is tomorrow morning at 9:00am. Will I survive it? That seemingly IS the question.

I'll let you know tomorrow!

Happy Momma's Day

Happy Mother's day to our beautiful, wonderful, loving, perfect Mother! I know few women as strong, caring, and self-less as my Mom. Wish we could all be together today Mom!

Look how beautiful:

What a beautiful lady!

Happy Mothers day to my wonderful Mama Joyce today too!! We love you Mama J!!

Also, happy mothers day to my future mother-in-law, sweet Bettye Cooper! You've been such a wonderful mother to Aaron and I'm so happy to become a part of your family!

Love and blessings to all mothers today!

PS Sorry Austin you're not in any of the pictures. :)

Sneak Peek: Engagement Pictures!

We had our engagement pictures taken yesterday and already have a couple back! They are so fun! Here are a few teasers...

A little Renaissance never hurt anyone.

Apparently, Norman has an annual Renaissance fair. Aaron and I checked it out today. While it doesn't hold a candle to Conway's Toad Suck Daze, I was thoroughly amused. These pictures say it all:
















-- Post From My iPhone

Studying Saturdays

I hate studying on Saturdays. Read my lips: hate. That is why I am not studying, but currently distracting myself on the blog. I suppose it's a good Saturday to study though. There's a storm a-brewin', so no reason to be outside playing. Regardless, I still do not want to study. When tomorrow and Monday roll around and I am swamped with homework, super stressed out, and not knowing how I'll survive the next four days, I'll look back and think, "I should have studied on Saturday."

But hindsight is always 20/20.

Houston hours.

Mom, Dad and I went down to Galveston for a few hours today. We walked along the beach and on a nice little nature walk through the state park. It was refreshing. Also included are some pics from St Paddy's day in the hotel.